Epiphany #6

“If I have to make the excuse that open relationships are more natural, I should probably just get another boyfriend.” 

In this particular lecture, I think a GSI was teaching it, and I didn’t need to copy down as many notes because the powerpoint slides were online. So I really let my mind drift. It probably didn’t have to drift all that far before I reached the revelation that I shouldn’t settle for anybody less than satisfactory. If you haven’t noticed already, I tend to think a lot about boys and romance in general. It’s such a vague and fun subject to think about, though, especially for an 18 year old girl, so I’m not too embarrassed to admit it. Oh love. I’ve often made the excuse that I don’t have a boyfriend because I enjoy being single. And gosh darn, it’s in our blood to naturally want more than one partner! Polygamous relationships are natural! Free love! 

And then I realized, if I constantly have to make this assertion, I will probably never actually end up in a serious monogamous relationship. Which is fine, as long as I’m thinking along the lines that I shouldn’t have to choose between one person or another. But if this continues to happen, maybe I’m just not doing it right: maybe I’ll be picking the wrong partners for me. And I do have confidence that I am capable of being faithful to one partner (and one only). It’s just a matter of who it is. 

Epiphany #5

“I just had a vision for a music video. Inspiration” 

Now, this revelation might actually have to do with the lecture in Linguistics that day. We discussed “speech communities,” and “insiders vs. outsiders.” When people “code-switch”, or speak Spanglish, for instance, only the people who speak both fluently will accurately understand all that’s going on in the conversation. Perhaps this is just a coincidence, but it goes a little with my music video vision. “Inspiration” is a song I’ve wanted to write for a while, but every time I think about it (I’ve thought about it for a few years now), I’m only thinking of how to best visualize the music. In other words, I’ve just had visions of how the music video will go. 

When I was in high school, I made a mental (and perhaps physical) list of people who inspired me. These people were mostly students from my school; certain multi-instrumentalists, or spontaneous individuals who I looked up to, or wanted to marry. Anyway, I had made a list, and in my music video vision, I pictured a person (me) encountering such people in little snapshot moments that defined their inspiration to me. For example, I  know this guy who said he was working on a CD; he plays several instruments, and he is the reason I went through an electric bass guitar phase in junior year. Things like that.

So as I’m sitting in Linguistics, I consider a different route of inspiration. Something having to do with heartbreak and love, and all that mushy stuff. I envisioned a girl spending quality time with a boy, his charisma and humor inspiring her to take more chances, or maybe try skateboarding, I don’t know. As I’m writing about this now, I realize that the story is a little close to home, but screw it. So the girl is inspired by the boy she loves (or whatever), but here is my twist (kind of): Even after the girl’s heart is broken, and the guy leaves her and starts loving somebody else, the girl finds inspiration in the two bodies that walk away. She is inspired by the heartbreak that the dude has given her. Am I weird to say that? 

That’s where the Linguistics lecture may have connected in. The girl becomes an outsider as she watches another happy couple, like an outsider in a speech community. I guess it could be like if I, an English only speaker, were to sit in on an entirely French conversation. I’d be an outsider, but I would be so inspired and soothed by the French language it wouldn’t matter (maybe that example was a stretch). 

Epiphany #4

“String ensemble = orgy.”

I love music. In fact, I love it so much I’d marry it and make love to it. During a lecture on models of language revitalization, I considered the fact that all great musicians take their work seriously and love every second they spend playing an instrument. And in a string ensemble, or an orchestra, or any music ensemble for that matter, the chemistry between players has to be decent enough so that musical voices can interact with each other effectively and expressively. As I was thinking this, I thought, hey, that sounds a lot like having sex. I thought of the times I’ve played in ensembles or quartets, and you must listen and respond to the other melodies and harmonies to create a living amoeba of song (for lack of better words). Depending on the style of music or the feeling you want to get across to the audience, the interactions between instruments can either be affectionate or clashing, but to stay close to the orgy idea, either way it should give off a fun, effortlessly loving vibe. To me, anyway. 

Epiphany #3

“I just had an epiphany about human interactions and a jigsaw puzzle metaphor.”

One day, a long time ago, I wrote down some poetic sentence: “Society is a jigsaw puzzle, and somewhere I belong.” And I think I was pondering that idea, and maybe expanding it in my mind. Before, I was just thinking of myself as one jigsaw puzzle piece, and other people or perhaps values were the other pieces. But during this lecture, I had an idea about people having several tiny jigsaw pieces themselves, that represented their lifestyles and hobbies, etc. And then other people connected themselves to those pieces, maybe on a three-dimensional level. Then the people connected with the other people connect with other people, and then you have a giant intertwined web of jigsaw puzzle pieces. Which I realize makes the jigsaw puzzle metaphor a little more complicated and not as accurate, but whatever.

Epiphany #2

“I can’t even begin to understand it, but it’s beautiful.”
This is in conjunction with a little doodle I made of a couple sparkling stars. Perhaps I was pondering about the wonders of space? Or anything else that is unexplainably awesome? Like love, or capitalism? That day in Linguistics we introduced language endangerment and how to revitalize a language once it’s gone. I seriously doubt that has anything to do with the epiphany.

Actually, I just realized that this day’s lecture was on Valentine’s Day. This epiphany was most definitely related to love.

Epiphany #1

“Professor’s voice sounds like peanut butter and malt.”
This was the first epiphany I had, or at least the first time I decided to write down any ideas that popped into my head during class. It was perhaps a couple weeks into the course, and I finally realized that her voice is tasty and whole and sticky. I like it.